I received a calling in my ward to teach the 15/16 year old Sunday School class. Not a big deal, you might think, or even "oh dear!" However, this calling is significant for me. I have been playing the piano in Relief Society for about two and a half years, and will continue to do so. This 'Sunday only' calling has been perfect for me. Not much prep time and I don't really even have to think about it during the week. But it's also representative of my illness. It was the only calling I had been capable of, so to say, for a while.
It was in February two years ago when I met with the stake president. I had a stake calling at the time which was fairly demanding of my time, and required decision making and me being "in charge." With three kids age 4 and under and my husband's calling as the scout master, it would have been hard anyway, but add what I was dealing with fighting depression, I was struggling. So I met with the stake president to talk with him about what was going on in my life so he could be aware. We talked and had a prayer, and I left his office released. Not what I was expecting, but he felt that taking care of me and my family was most important. I had very mixed feelings. I was relieved, yet in a way felt like a failure, though I know I wasn't. Since then, other than being a visiting teacher, I have had an "easy calling" as the Relief Society pianist.
After a while though, I started feeling bad because I wasn't asked to serve in any other way. Did the Lord not think I could handle anything else? Could I handle it? The primary, young women, and Relief Society presidencies were all changed in time which mean callings have to shuffle, yet none came my way. Some of my friends in the ward had two callings.
Last fall I met with my Bishop and had a great talk. He explained that my name had come up for callings at times, but it just never seemed to be right. Of course last summer was so challenging for me and my family as we got the business going, that I felt he was right. But the bishop gave me great counsel: "You can serve in so many other ways. You don't have to have a title." So I have been trying to heed that advice.
In January I was called to be the young women basketball coach. Yay! Something right up my alley. And then just as basketball was ending I was called to teach Sunday School. It has only been three lessons, but I think it is going to be a good challenge. I am very excited, and maybe humbled, that I am finally ready for a challenge!