Is just not easy.
I don't know what to say, or how to say it if I did know what to say. But I did it a lot tonight--at a 'hug party', as Andy called it--somehow. Trying to say goodbye to friends in the ward who have touched my life in so many different ways. Saying goodbye but not really expressing or exposing much of how I feel. Because it is hard. And I don't know what to say.
The past 8 years has brought a lot of change into my life. Mainly, I added three kids to my family. We became a 'big' family, and are no longer a "young family". We have moved into a "middle aged" family. When we first moved into the ward, there were very few junior primary kids and so our kids were welcomed heartily. When Andy came along he was the only baby at the time and the ward adopted him right along with us. The ward was here with me and was excited for each new addition, and there to support me during challenging times that come with motherhood. Basically this ward has seen my family grow up. Dustin was only 7 when we moved here and now he is taller than me and starting high school. My baby was 4 and a sunbeam. Now he is passing the sacrament, and has been replaced (as mentioned above) with other "babies." The ward has loved my kids and my kids loved them back.
I suppose I am babbling. Because I can. And I want to.
Yes, I am happy and looking so forward to sharing life with my family in New Mexico, but this ward family is so hard to leave. My next ward has big shoes to fill.