Day One in New Mexico

I just want all my Utah friends and family to know that I finally cried. I am not totally emotionless (is that a word?) Sometimes--or mostly--I just have a hard time getting those emotions out. They really like to hide. But after packing and cleaning and packing and laundry, saying goodbye to friends and family, two nights of not sleeping well, and spending a day driving, the emotions finally spilled over this morning. I had a good cry and later a little nap and then I felt better.

I still can't sleep. I am sleeping at my Mom's until probably Saturday night when my husband and the rest of the family come. The three little kids and I came yesterday, Wednesday. I came earlier to get the "office" set up, specifically the internet and up and going. You know, wait around until the Qwest guy comes to hook it up. And make sure it works. My dad came and brought a trailer that we loaded up and then we drove back sort of together. Scott will bring the a moving truck Saturday with the rest of our stuff and our beds. Which brings me back to sleeping. Even though I was dead tired last night I could not sleep. Then same thing tonight. So I am blogging on my Mom's computer hoping to tire myself out. And maybe clear some thoughts out of my head.

Because I am still at my Mom and Dad's house I don't think the whole "I moved to a different city, state, ward" thing has quite sunk in yet. It is like I am visiting. I did start to feel a little more real tonight when we unloaded the trailer and I am seeing my furniture in the house.

Cameron does not like the new house. We are renting a house from my brother. It is a great size and location but needs some work. When I came in April to paint, Cameron did not like to be there. He cried. My sister-in-law and sister took turns tending him at their houses while I painted. I am guessing he doesn't like it is because it is an empty echo-y house (wood floors). I don't really know. He is just my sensitive little guy. Well this morning when we drove over to the house he didn't even want to get out of the van! He did not want me to undo his buckle. He apparently remembered from 3 months ago. When we went inside he was okay unless he couldn't see me. Then he started crying and wouldn't stop even when I was holding him. That's when I started crying. We went outside. My nephew played with him and I went back inside to continue crying. We didn't stay that long. But now there is some furniture in it so maybe he will like it better. And maybe when Daddy is in it too.