April 23, 2010

Frustrations

from a website I was reading:
"(Washington, D.C.) April 17, 2006 - Parents of children with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) express frustration when their children experience emotional meltdowns for seemingly no reason. "

So I am expressing my frustration.  AAHHHH!!!

Meltdowns at our house by our 8-year-old are quite frequent.  And usually unpredictable "seemingly for no reason."

The other day he got it in his head that he wanted to buy a kite.  We got in the car after Brennen's baseball game. Andy said "Now we can go get my kite."  I said "No we can't.  It is almost 8:00, time to go home and get ready for bed".  Major meltdown time.  In the car.

He won't quit the 10 to 15 minute ride.  I took away computer time for the next day.  More meltdown. 

I know.  You are thinking, "Just do (whatever)".  "Just stop the car and (whatever)."  If you haven't experienced these kind of irrational meltdowns you just don't get it.  (I don't get it either actually).  I have four other children and they don't have meltdowns, like this.  Yes, there have been typical childhood tantrums, but not like child #3.  Believe me, this is different, and very frustrating.  (Child #2 had some pretty good ones, but only when he was younger).
We have had these battles and meltdowns for years, but as he gets older they seem to be getting worse.  I just haven't found any answers yet.  Stay calm?  Don't fight back?  Ignore it?  Easier said than done. 

I know he needs to learn how to calm himself down . . . If only I could figure out a way to teach that to him.

6 comments:

Leah said...

I grew up with a brother that has ADHD and I think you did the right thing by not caving in and getting the kite. All kids have to learn that skill regardless of there trials givin. You did good Melissa!

tonya said...

sorry! Don't worry, you were in the car so only its occupants saw/heard said meltdown. So no one is judging you! You've probably done this, but I've said to child X when she was calm, "Do you remember how you felt yesterday when you were upset? Did you feel out of control? Did you like it? Would you like to work on not feeling that way? Here are some things you can try..." But I have complete faith in your ability to get help from Heaven to help Andy. So that's all you need, besides a rest sometimes. :)

Andrea Hardman said...

I feel your pain. (like almost every day!)

emily and Nate said...

Sorry Melissa, Hope you had a better day today with no tantrums. Sometimes we all need to vent a little.

The Berkley's said...

I'm Sorry too! That is really hard. I may not have a child like Andy but children tend to hit the very hardest nerve in their parents, and it is frustrating. I think that you did great in the situation. You have a great family and we love you!

Laurna Tallman said...

Hi,
Your child could have an audio-processing deficit that makes it impossible for him to have the same level of left-brain dominance as your other children. Your child does not want to have a meltdown or to disobey or to be distracted. His right ear does not allow the same amount of sound energy to reach his left brain so he is incapable of the same level of self-control. Check out my blog at http://northernlightbooks.ca/MentalHealththroughMusic and feel free to email me if you want more help.
Laurna Tallman